Wednesday, April 6, 2011

I've Lost My Marbles...

HI! Howdy! What's been going on??????

So, I've had a real fuq'd up couple of months. However, I am still alive and kicking baby! To my ex-boyfriend, take a freaking hike (this is nice considering I feel like saying 1,000 curse words about him). To my newly acquired "friend"... I like you - a lot. You've hurt me. FML... To graduate school -- really? LOL! REALLY?! Summer school is going to suck for 5 weeks! Good thing I have July to look forward to... wait. Do I? Probably not - you see, I have come to the conclusion that I am unlucky with life. HA! Totally unlucky.

I meet someone, I like them, I lay it all out there, I get hurt. Why? Because I allow myself to. I've come to this conclusion with the help of my dear friend Daisy LOL... she told me that I need to stop meeting men that don't realize how special I really am. I appreciate her concerns and words of love. BUT you can't help but meet someone, fall for them, and essentially get trampled all over because you want SO badly for them to care about you the way you do about them. Am I right? YUP YUP...

Here's the deal. My ex is my ex for a reason. It's over, he sucks, he hates me, feelings are mutual, and I'm done with that chapter of my life. The bad thing is, the dude lives in the house we purchased together. I'll never rid of him completely until the house sells or he croaks. I don't wish death, but damn it, cut me loose already. I deserve it. Really, I do. I deserve to be happy. I've been miserable for a long time. And I've been going through a really ROUGH time lately.... I just want to smile, laugh, love, be loved, and enjoy the splendors of life. It's hard. When will this happen for me? I keep thinking that things will get better. There's only one way but up right? WRONG.... I keep getting the shitty end of the stick. WTF is wrong with me?

I am the dumbest graduate student I know. And that says a lot since there is a lot of dumbasses in the graduate program, but I rank at the very tip top.

Anything interesting? Well, I've been dedicating myself to the gym for a month now, 5 times a week, hardcore baby.... SIKE. I do cardio 5 times a week and weight lift every other day. I look decent, but a few more months and I'll be pretty dope! Take that EX and new friend.

Oh yeah... I had to move back into my mom's house. Yipee. NOT! They appreciate me being here, I buy them their groceries and keep them company. Because you all know I am supreme when it comes to telling jokes and being a sarcastic asshole. You love it and THEY love it. High Five!

What is next for me? I have no clue. And I hate that. But, I really don't. I fell for some dude, who is wonderful... but like my life story, I have been hurt and so, I am once again a dwindling piece of garbage hanging by a thread, waiting to be cut from its misery. Oh shit, writer alert.

So, I'm off, when there is something interesting I will write again. Until then... here are some new pictures of yours truly.



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